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Family planning

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Last month I was blessed to give birth to my son. While filling out some of the scads of hospital paperwork, I ran across this question:

Was this pregnancy planned?

I was at a loss over how to answer. How do you plan to receive a gift?

My attitude on family planning -- wait. "Attitude" is the wrong word. This is something much more inherent. "Perspective" is a better word, with the understanding that it's the perspective from a place I am firmly anchored with a deep taproot. So I'll start over.

My perspective on family planning -- wait again. "Planning" is the wrong word. Let's say "building". I'll start over once more.

My perspective on family building is that the building blocks come from God. He is the Architect, and we construction workers -- my husband and I -- can only build the building he means us to build if we follow his blueprint. That means trusting him.

For the first seven years of our marriage, there were no pregnancies, though we were not doing anything to prevent them. Out of this came our first son, whom we adopted. I think the reason God gave us no pregnancies was just so Big Brother could join our family.

And then I did get pregnant and gave birth to our second son. I had accepted infertility, so I was confused but thrilled.

Was Little Brother planned? To me, that's like asking if I planned for the sun to shine today.

He wasn't planned in that we weren't actively trying for pregnancy. That is, we were not watching the ovulation clock. He wasn't not planned in that we were not attempting to frustrate God from giving him to us. That is, we were not using any contraception.

Confused by the question on the hospital form, I wrote "sure". I should have written "not applicable".

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Birdie said...
January 12, 2008 at 11:29 AM  

Beautifully said!

kelly jeanie said...
January 14, 2008 at 9:05 PM  

Was Little Brother planned? To me, that's like asking if I planned for the sun to shine today.

That is just beautiful.

Amy Jane (Untangling Tales) said...
January 15, 2008 at 2:06 PM  

I've gotten this question too, and it makes me sad-- as if they are going to base the next thing they off of what information I give them.

Or as if they will value (or think we value) any of our children more because they were "planned."

It makes me almost relieved that my "plans to plan" were gently overruled by a greater mind than mine.

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